How can I succeed as an introvert, when every leader is louder?
It’s not about being the loudest. It’s about using your unique strengths as an introvert to lead with confidence.
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Ask a Job Search Expert
I'm a senior leader at my company, a ~150-person, Series B-backed startup. Our company has been growing, and with that growth has come a lot of new leaders, all with their own goals, styles, and politics.
I'm finding myself spending a lot of time in meetings about company strategy with everyone competing for air time with their vision for the future. As an introvert, I not only find this exhausting, but also struggle to make a case for my vision for my department and the company's future among a lot of big, loud voices.
I'm wondering if this is still the company for me (should I look for something else?) or if there are ways I can grow and work through these dynamics.
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A Job Search Expert Says
Competing with big, loud voices is exhausting, and going unheard and unrecognized is frustrating.
Many introverts struggle to find their place in extrovert-centric work cultures, and it’s natural to question if the company is still a good fit.
Before you make any big decisions, I would zoom out and ask a few questions:
Do you like the work?
Are you excited about the mission?
Will moving solve the issue, or might you encounter the same challenges elsewhere?
Changing jobs might seem like the easiest solution. But learning to navigate different communication styles and personalities is an investment that pays off the rest of your career. Not only will it strengthen your influence at this job, but it will make you a more valuable, effective leader anywhere you go.
Remember: As a senior leader, you’re in a position to introduce new ideas and improve communication for the whole team.
Here are five ways to start:
1. Establish conversation guidelines
Suggest that the group creates rules of engagement for meetings so that you can move away from the Wild West where the loudest and first to jump in always get the floor.
My favorite way to do this is called 1, 2, 3, and Me.
After one person talks, they should wait for three more people to talk before they chime in again.
This provides structure, it provides accountability, and it shifts the power dynamic to include more people.
Suggesting this approach not only benefits you, but it also demonstrates you’re a leader who cares that all voices in the room are heard.
2. Recognize your strengths
We often focus on introversion being a problem we need to solve (and it’s no wonder, because companies tend to reward the opposite trait).
But how is being an introvert an advantage?
What strengths do you bring to the role as an introvert?
What are your superpowers as a communicator?
Introverts are often highly observant, introspective, and creative, so they often see things that other people miss. In addition, they take time to absorb information and think through problems on their own, which makes introverts far less likely to succumb to groupthink.
Take one of my clients as an example. She was struggling to advocate for her team within the current culture of her company (lots of volatile screaming). Once she embraced her introversion and stopped thinking of herself as too timid to speak up, she changed her approach. Rather than arguing with her manager, she decided to have the difficult conversation on her own terms: directly, thoughtfully and preplanned. Sticking up for her team built a tremendous amount of trust as a leader and allowed her to see her own influence to create change.
3. Plan ahead
Introverts tend to do better with advance planning, whether it’s for a company-wide presentation or for a team meeting. Whenever possible, write down what you’d like to say in your next meeting and practice out loud ahead of time. This may feel silly, but so many of my clients can attest to the power of doing this.
4. Claim your quiet authority
Remember that you don’t have to be loudest to get your point across. Odds are, people often pay attention when you share because you have a reputation for speaking up when it matters most (versus just to hear your own voice). Think of polite interruptions as another communication tool that you have.
5. Celebrate when you do speak up
Take the pressure off to get things perfect and do your best to stop ruminating on everything you say aloud. Most importantly, congratulate yourself for contributing, even if it’s not the most profound comment. Each time you speak up, you’ll get more comfortable using your voice—and remember that your opinion matters as much as the louder ones in the room.
Meet the Expert of the Week: Madeline Schwarz
In her own words:
My clients have called me a career therapist, lifesaver, and secret weapon. Before becoming a communication coach, I spent years on the sidelines being interrupted and talked over by the loudest voices in the room. Conquering my fears of public speaking was one of the most transformative experiences of my adult life. It’s the reason I’m so passionate about teaching introverts to use their voice.
Before starting a business, I designed and built window displays and brand experiences. I learned how to communicate a brand through the windows, how to get a message across in seconds and how to invite customers into the store.
Now at Madeline Schwarz Coaching, I help other people communicate their stories and change conversations in meetings, board rooms and on stage. I’ve worked with leaders and teams at Mastercard, Airbnb, The Mellon Foundation, Etsy, and JP Morgan.
Madeline’s Go-To Resources
Sign up for a free discovery call: We’ll spend 60 minutes focused on your goals and how to cultivate the confidence and skills to get there. I'll share what it's like to work together and help you decide if coaching is a good step for you.
Prep for any presentation in five minutes: These are the first four steps I take every client through to clarify your vision and prepare for Q&As.
Learn how to respond when you don’t agree: The four essential skills to navigate difficult conversations and build consensus.
Read The Introvert’s Guide to Public Speaking: For those who think introverts and public speaking don’t mix, this article expands your perspective.
Read Five Networking Tips To Embrace The Awkward And Connect With Ease:
Learn the C.A.L.M.S. Framework to overcome networking nerves.Read Quiet by Susan Cain: This book breaks down myths about extroversion and introversion and helps you understand your strengths and quiet power.
Read Think Again by Adam Grant: If you’re an overthinker (and so many introverts are), this book has a refreshing take on imposter syndrome.
In the midst of a career turning point or crisis? Crux wants to help. Send us your question to be answered (anonymously) by a career coach in an upcoming newsletter.
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